Sex Education
by vampirekisses1901
Summary: The one embarrassing lesson we all have to have. Only Bella has to have it with Edward... Used to be a one-shot but I think it may be a couple of chapters. GUYS I'M SORRY I HAVEN'T UDATED. I'VE JUST...FORGOTTEN ABOUT IT lol.
1. Sex Ed with my boyfriend!

"Bella, come on we're gonna be late

**This is my first fanfic, so please don't be too harsh!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight characters….sadly.**

"Bella, come on we're gonna be late." Edward pulled on my arm, grinning. 

"Ok, see you Angela." I waved goodbye to her, as we parted ways after lunch. 

"Talk to you later!" She called back. I smiled and Edward and I turned in the opposite direction, heading to General Studies. 

I looked at Edward curiously. "What's the smirk for then?" I said, meaning the grin on his face.

"Oh, you'll find out soon enough Bells." He smiled his crooked grin that I loved so much. 

I pouted. "But I wanna know now!" I whined tying my best at acting like a little kid. 

Which he probably thought I was. Oh well.

"You will……when we get to General Studies." Edward looked straight ahead, but I could see the smirk forming on his face again. "It's going to be an……_interesting_ lesson."

I raised my eyebrows. "Define interesting."

He stroked the back of my hand with his thumb, and bought it up to his cool lips. "Well, Mr. Taylor has some doubts about the lesson." 

"That is so not interesting. What does the lesson _involve_?" I couldn't believe I was having such a long conversation about a lesson. But then, this was Edward, and when he wanted to hide something, it was like getting blood out of a stone.

Not literally of course. 

"Edward." I stopped and faced him. "You know I hate surprises. Just tell me will you?" 

He grinned, and pushed me through the door, into the classroom.

"Ok, surprise over."

I looked behind my shoulder, and in big, bold letters, wriiten on the board was 'SEX EDUCATION'.

It so figures.

I glanced at Edward, but he had already sat down in his assigned place, with a flicker of a smile playing on his face.

Ha.

At least he didn't seem so enthusiastic as before.

Just as I realised he was probably reading Mr. Taylor's mind, his expression turned a little worried.

I was about to ask Edward what that was all about, when it suddenly really hit me what this lesson was about.

I was going to have to discuss sex, in front of my boyfriend, who was sitting right next to me.

I could feel my face heat up, and I caught my reflection in the TV screen. 

I closely resembled a strawberry.

Except for the green tufty bit. Although……..my hair could pass for that I suppose, but I'd have to dye it green.

Why would I wanna dye my hair green though?

Why am I even _thinking _about this?

Oh yeh-strawberries. Actually, now I think about it, a lot of things to do with strawberries connects with me. I mean, I have strawberry smelling shampoo, and if I dye my hair green, I could resemble a strawberry and-

OMG!! SHUT UP BRAIN SHUT UP!!

I _really _ need to move on to more pressing matters, like the fact that we would have a whole lesson _discussing sex in front of Edward._, and………

………the fact that there was a TV.

Oh.My.God.

I hadn't realised its significance before, but now I sure did.

We were going to watch a DVD-almost certainly about a couple doing it.

Yuck.

Not to mention, with Edward sitting next to me. I seem to be saying that a lot lately don't I?

Well…..its true.

Its also true that I am going to die.

Seriously.

"Ok everyone, settle down, settle down." Mr. Taylor's squeaky voice rang out in the classroom, and everyone quietened down, except for the few laughs from the boys, and giggles form the girls.

"Now I know you all think this is a funny and embarrassing subject, but its extremely important. Right, sex and relationships are natural in life……….." 

Blah, blah, blah. Mr. Taylor's voice faded out, and I didn't even have to try and not listen. But then again, even if Mr. Taylor sounds squeaky, he talks on one note, so it becomes just an annoying buzz in your ear. 

Like a mosquito. 

Ew. I hate mosquitoes. 

How did I manage to get from sex ed to mosquitoes? I am so weird. 

After a while I realised the annoying buzzing had stopped, and looked up to see Mike handing out bananas, what looked like water-balloons (what the hell?) and joy of joy, Mr. Taylor was turning on the TV.

"So, what do you think of it so far then?" Edward lent over to whisper in my ear, making me jump.

"Oh! Um………its all very……interesting." Yeah right. I teetered off and bit my lip. 

Edward frowned at me, as if he_ could _read my mind. "You haven't been paying attention have you?"

I just stared at him. "No". Why would I want to 'pay attention'?

Who was he to accuse me of paying attention? He'd been drawing random doodles on his bit of paper.

Although, knowing him, he was probably listening at the same time.

After all, Edward was good at everything. He looked at me sternly.

"You'll need to know all this stuff. Mr. Taylor's right-it is important."

"Yeah right," I said, rolling my eyes. 

Edward looked as if he was about to say something, but got distracted when Mike placed two bananas and two water-balloons on our desk.

At the same time, the room went dark, and the DVD started, music filling the room.

A title appeared on the screen of the TV. It said _"Putting on a condom."_

My eyes widened and I looked down, my gaze resting on the water-balloons in front of me.

Except now that I looked closer, I could see they weren't water-balloons at all.

Oh my God.

They were _condoms_. 

I could feel Edward staring at me, and I gulped. I heard him chuckle, as my face probably looked like I had sunburn. 

I'm not dumb. I can put two and two together. DVD, banana, and condom. 

So…………I could guess what we were gonna have to do. What the film, while putting the condom on the banana.

This is going to be _very_ interesting. 

**Please review and tell me what you thought!**

**You know you want to…….**

**X x x**


	2. Author's note

Author's note

**Author's note**

**I have decided to carry the story on one more chapter, although I haven't quite finished it yet. I may even to a 3****rd**** if you persuade me……**

**Thanks for all your reviews and tips. Sorry about the randomness in the last chapter though. I was in a pretty random mood myself, and I guess it showed!**

**I will be updating I in the next few days, and sorry it wasn't sooner, but my computer crashed (lame excuse but whatever) and I've had a lot of work to catch up on.**

**However, I'm back on track, and I have two weeks off, so expect some serious updating!**

**vampirekisses1901**


	3. Condom arguments

Yes I have decided to carry it on one more chapter

**I am so very very very sorry about how long this all took. I had problems updating, and I was dragged off for a few days with my family, with no computer (or civilization) in sight. **

**So, on with the chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight characters….sadly.**

"So you pull it gently over, making sure you don't rip it…." The lady on the DVD droned on.

OMG. Ok, _breathe _Bella. You can do this! I mean, you're 17 years old for God's sake.

True, your boyfriend is sitting next to you, but whatever!

PING! _Ow._ The noise and slight pain brought me sharply back to earth, and I looked down, sensing that something was wrong. There was.

I'd ripped the condom, just like the DVD-lady said not to. Opps.

And I'd pinged it against my finger. Well, they don't call me clumsy for nothing.

Out of the corner of my eye I could see Edward grinning at me, _his _condom already on the banana. I briefly wondered where he'd gotten his experience from, and then remembered his supernatural skills. I sighed. If I could only find even _one_ thing that he isn't good at, but _no_. He even has to be the best at putting a sodding condom on a banana.

Sometimes life just isn't fair.

"Sir." Edward got Mr. Taylor's attention. "We need a new condom over here."

Oh.My.God. Did Edward have any _idea_ how wrong that sounded? All the others in the class sure did, as they burst into laughter.

"What's wrong Bella?" Lauren whispered nastily to me. "Used it already have you?"

I blushed. God, I hate Lauren. I have no idea why she hates me so badly but I'll hate her back just for the heck of it. Why can't she act more maturely? Its not as if Edward and I are gonna _use_ the condoms. We've barely got past kissing, let alone second base or _sex._

Unfortunately.

But whatever. Mr.Taylor came and gave me another freaking condom, and then asked Edward if "you could help her with that young man."

Um……great. My boyfriend is now showing me how to put on a condom.

As if this couldn't get any worse. Well, actually it could. Mike chose that moment to say to me, "Bella, I could help you if you like. Edward doesn't have to."

You don't need to be an expert to tell that Mike_ really_ shouldn't have said that. I don't know why he did to be honest. I bet he just wanted to get Edward's panties in a twist.

….and he succeeded.

Although, Edward doesn't wear panties.

At least, I hope not. I don't exactly know, much to my disappointment. But I would think Edward is the boxer kind of guy. However, now I think about it, I could picture Edward in briefs too.

Hmmm……….

WAIT! I'M NOT MEANT TO BE THINKING ABOUT WHAT TYPE OF UNDERWEAR EDWARD WEARS!!

Does he even _wear_ underwear?

OMG!! SHUT UP BRAIN!!

I am so glad Edward can't read my mind.

So, what happened was, Edward started glaring at Mike like he wanted to kill him with his eyes. Seriously.

Mike just ignored him and said to me "Bella, come over here. I'll help you."

Um, no thanks.

"I can help her fine thank you Michael." Edwards voice sounded as cold as ice, and I shivered upon hearing it. Not in a good way too. That's how cold it was. Mike just looked at Edward, although I could tell he was kinda worried now. But to give him credit, he didn't show it.

"Don't worry Edward, I can help-"

"Don't you dare say you can help her again." Edward interrupted Mike. "Bella is perfectly fine with me. And yet that idea out of your head."

"W-what? What idea?" Mike seriously looked scared and didn't even try to hide it.

"The idea that Bella is going to come round your house tonight. Because she isn't, got that?"

By now the whole class was listening intently.

"How did you even _know_ that?" Mike seemed as though he was getting ready to run away from Edward now.

"Because I know you. And if you ever think of laying a hand on her I'll-" Mr.Taylor, having come to his senses, interrupted Edward, by saying "Now now boys. That's enough ok? Edward, you can help Bella and Mike can help Jessica. Everyone happy now?"

I could tell Edward wasn't at all happy, but he sighed irritably and flexed his hands. Then he looked at Mike on last time, as if to say '_don't touch Bella or else'._


	4. Blushes and deals

My DSL was down yet AGAIN

**My DSL was down yet AGAIN! God, sometimes I hate broadband….and ok, I was on holiday too. So sue me!**

**Anywho, another sorry has had to be said. **

**Disclaimer: I am not Stephanie Meyer……sadly**

"You have to do it like _this_ Bella." Edward said, showing me properly.

I think I'm dying. Seriously.

"Uh-huh." Was all I could manage to say however. I mean, how embarrassing. My boyfriend is showing me how to put a condom on a BANANA for crying out loud. And we were in a classroom. It's not like we were ever gonna need to know, seeing as Edward is so set against us barely even _kissing_ properly.

"Bella?" Edward was waving his hand in front of my face. "Are you listening? Look, you try and do it just like I showed you."

When I didn't move, he took both of my hands in his left, and with his right thumb and index finger he tilted my chin up so he could see my expression. "Hey." When I protested, he said it softer, much quieter. "Hey. What's up Bella?"

I shrugged. "Nothing," I mumbled. I didn't want to draw attention to the fact that I was a) embarrassed b) feeling extremely stupid and c) annoyed by the fact that I'd never get to use a condom with Edward.

"Bella." He growled. "I'm serious. What's wrong? Is it because of what I said to Mike? If you could have heard what he was thinking about you, because my God Bella. I can't believe he was. I mean, yes he has thought about you before, but not that…….dirty. He was-"

"Edward".

"-thinking of inviting you over his place and _doing_ stuff to you-"

"Edward."

"-he's just so sick you know? He deserves a lot more than what I said to him-"

My God does he ever get the message?

"EDWARD." I smacked his arm hard to get his attention. It didn't even hurt him, but oh yes, it hurt me.

"OW!" He stopped in mid-sentence and looked at me. Then my hand. I noticed everyone else doing the same thing.

Great.

"Bella?" He said, worriedly. "What's the matter?"

Oh yeah, like you don't know. "What's the matter? _What's the matter?" _My voice sounding too high pitch. "The matter is that I don't care what Mike thought, you're just old fashioned. You don't have to keep going on about it and when I tried to get your attention you HURT MY HAND."

Someone coughed in the now silent classroom. _What had I done?_ I didn't mean to shout! I was just annoyed, not with Edward but with myself. Somehow, however, I had managed to take it out on him, with the whole class being able to witness it.

I felt myself heating up, and caught my reflection in the window. Yup, totally like a strawberry.

Mr. Taylor interrupted the silence. "Bella, if your hand hurts you can go to the nurse. I'll get someone to take you…"

"_I'll_ take her." Edward stood up and caught hold of my arm, which I tried to pull back.

To no avail.

"Edward." I whispered fiercely. "I can take myself. I don't need you."

He ignored me, but Mr. Taylor looked at us worriedly. "Edward, if Bella's not happy I think I should get someone else to take her."

"Yeah." I looked at him pointedly.

I expected him to argued, to drag me outta the room screaming if he had to….

…well, ok. Not quite _that_ far. Instead however, he let go of my arm, his eyes going dead as he turned away from me. Opps. Now I'll have to deal with him later, and from past experience he can be so stubborn.

Pretending I wasn't aware of Edward's change of mood, I gathered up my books and headed out the door, catching Jessica's delighted glance. _She_ hadn't missed it, that's for sure.

I was too busy thinking about what I'd said to Edward, (and regretting in), to notice that I was about to walk into a locker.

Until it was too late.

"OOF!" I dropped my books, as my head smacked into the padlock. I felt myself falling backwards, and tried to put my hands out to break my fall. I didn't need to though. He was there, as always.

"Honestly Bella." Edward sighed as he caught me. "What am I gonna do with you?"

I glared at him, and tried to step outta is embrace, but he held me to him, his arms locked in position.

"First you hit me and hurt your hand, then you bang your head on a locker. You really need to look where you're going." He spoke into my hair.

Ok, it was kinda hard to remember why I was mad at him. His Edward-y scent filled my nostrils, and I breathed in heavily, greedily wanting more. "Shut up" Was all I could manage.

Edward laughed quietly, shaking me gently. "Oh Bella. You are silly."

I buried my head in his neck, and closed my eyes. "Am not."

"I thought you were meant to be mad at me?" He started stroking my hair, and blew on it, so individual strands moved.

I shivered.

He laughed again. "Come on sweetheart. Let's get you to the nurse and you can yell and shout at me all you want back home."

"Don'twannagotonurse." I mumbled, incomprehensively. His hand moved to the small of my back, while his other tilted my head up and he kissed me softy.

"How about now?" He whispered, his nose running the length of my jaw line.

"Deal." I said breathlessly.

**I know it's short, but hey, give me credit. I have jet lag BUT I got up extra early to do this chapter!**

**vampirekisses1901**


	5. Embarrassment and laughter

I'm meant to be doing homework, but I'm in a writing mood, so yah

**I'm meant to be doing homework, but I'm in a writing mood, so yah. Hope you like.**

"Hey Bella!" Angela caught up with me by my locker. "How's your hand?"

I showed her the bandage that the nurse had put on it. It still throbbed, but I tried to put on a brave face, due to Edward fussing over me. He felt guilty that I'd hurt myself. I suppose it _wasn't_ really his fault.

Ok, it was basically all my fault, but it didn't hurt Edward to feel a _little_ guilty…

I can't believe I just said that. I don't WANT Edward to feel like that! And I tried to tell him in the office, but his worried look wouldn't budge. He kept telling me not to be brave, and pulled me into his arms, kissing my hair.

That part I liked.

And that part the nurse didn't like.

"-come you hurt it so much?" Angela was saying, touching my bandage.

"Oh, uh….." I tried to come up with some excuse. I really can't lie very well on most days, and today……

….I wasn't in my greatest form.

"Edward's just, uh……really hard." I finished lamely.

Then realised what I'd said, and what it sounded like. Angela's eyes bulged, as I went bright red. Then she started laughing.

"Oh my God Bella!" She was bending over she was so overcome with laughter. "You know what I thought? I thought you meant-"

She couldn't carry on she was laughing too hard. And then, to embarrass myself even more that day, (as if I hadn't done it enough), who should walk round the corner?

Oh, only Edward.

Edward, my boyfriend.

Edward, who can't read my thoughts.

Edward, who can read Angela's however. He paused for a minute, his expression weird. It took a second to realise why.

He was _embarrassed._ Yes, seriously. I mean, it's not like he blushes, because, well, he just can't. But it took me by surprise, as I'd never seen him this uncomfortable before.

And then I was even MORE embarrassed. Because he was obviously listening to Angela, who had our conversation in her head. And however much I didn't mean what I said to turn out like it had, there was nothing I could do. It still sounded as though I was talking about Edward's……..

…….manly parts. I am SO glad he can't read my mind.

Opps. Angela has just seen Edward…..

…..and she's laughing even harder.

I think I'm just gonna go.

I ran in the girls room. I'm serious. I'm still in there, and feeling stupid. Angela's just come in, still laughing, but saying that she didn't meant to laugh so much.

I have to admit though, it _was_ kinda funny.

To a degree.

Angela's just enformed me that Edward's outside, waiting to take me home. Why couldn't I just take my truck today?

I stepped outta the cubical, and looked at Ange.

"Oh Bella." She tried very hard not to laugh. "I'm so sorry, I really am. But it was just so funny…"

"I get it." I cut her off. "It's fine, I'm just tired and my hand hurts."

She frowned. "Oh, yeah, I almost forgot. It probably won't improve your mood much, but Mr. Taylor assigned us homework."

What? Sex Education HOMEWORK? Hmmm………..that sounds….

….interesting.

"Yeah. It looks kinda 'ew'. And pointless." She handed me a worksheet, titled 'label the correct parts of the human body'. There was a naked woman on it.

Maybe not so interesting. I turned it over.

A naked man.

I think I'm gonna die. I know I've said that so many times now, but……..

….I think its true.

"Oh, here." Ange handed me another sheet. "Mr. Taylor said to give that to Edward."

Shit.

Ok, I don't normally swear, but…

…shit. I.AM.DEAD.

I _can't_ give a sheet of a naked man and a naked woman that you have to _label their parts_ to my _boyfriend._

It just cannot be done. There is NO WAY I CAN DO IT.

"Bella?" I heard Edward call from outside.

I think I'm hyperventilating. An dying. WHAT DO I DO??

**Sorry if that was short, but I really have to do my homework now!**


End file.
